Dear Ms. Strauss: Of course, you're not addressing it to me =)
As a regular follower of your blog, you want to make sure this statement is true for each agent I’d be honored to have you consider my police procedural Forty & Out capitalize title which is complete at 68,000 words. (It will appeal to readers who enjoy the complications of relationships in the context of an intriguing crime story. I anticipate this book as one of three interconnected novels exploring the criminal justice community in Toledo, Ohio.) I would put these two sentences at the end just because it feels like a bumper keeping us from getting to the pitch. We want to feel like we're reading the jacketflap right off.
Forty is a dangerous birthday to celebrate in Detective Veronica Jadzinski’s world. Right away we know who it's about. Good. A psychopath is targeting single women at that milestone, making sure they don’t get any older. Saddled with a new partner by her disparaging lieutenant, the loner Jadz delves into the seedier side of Toledo to solve the case and prove her worth before the body count gets any higher.Circumstance. Well laid out. When the killer strikes back by targeting Jadz’s drama-queen sister, the case gets personal.Conflict. This is good, but you could give us a little more. Is there a secondary conflict? Jadz must learn to set aside her ego and separate life’s petty squabbles from battles that really matter. This is your hook line, but it doesn't feel very hooky--would you agree? You could tease us with a specific ego issue and/or petty squabble. I would give it its own paragraph.
FORTY & OUT would appeal...
My publishing credits include six short stories in a variety of regional and literary magazines, numerous newspaper articles, and the full-length non-fiction Historic Warren County: An Illustrated History (Lammert Publications 2009) which was awarded the 2010 Outstanding Achievement Award in History Outreach by the Ohio Association of Historical Societies and Museums.Nice little bio.
Thank you for your attention. I look forward to hearing from you.
How about you? Any advice for CPat?
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