I’m in agony. Writers in Waiting agony, to be specific. It’s part of a well-known, oft-experienced cycle in a writer’s life, the part where you send off a query (or a batch of queries), or worse yet, a partial or full as requested by an agent, and then hear NOTHING.
This is how it works: It starts off with, um, I’m not a bad writer. I’ve read such and such a book, and I’m as good as so and so. It’s because of this damn recession. If I had finished my novel in time to submit before Black October ’08, I would be agented by now. Everyone is holding back. Oh, look, see, I’ve got a request, I must be a pretty good writer, or why, especially during a recession, would they ask to read more? Yay, she likes it! But wants to see revisions. I can do revisions.
Then nothing. And more nothing. I’ve been here before. The Great Ignore.
I know, I know, they are really busy, they get tons and tons of emails everyday, they simply can’t take time to respond to every query, etc. I get that. But how do I know if I’m rejected or if they are just running behind and still plan to get back to me?
Or am I just really, really, really IMPATIENT. It’s me, not them. I’m impatient, and probably not good enough. That must be it. I live perpetually in the land of Almost But Not Quite. Actually, I suck. I’m a dreamer not a writer. Why do I DO this to myself. I should just quit.
That’s right. I’m quitting. I’m like a writing addict and I need to detox and get a life!
I feel sick. Like a puffed up balloon with a slow leak. I can’t quit writing. It’s who I am. What God created me to be.
So maybe I’m not destined to be a published writer. (Who knows? The jury is still out on that). But I’m part of a writing community. (Thanks Laurel and Denise for reminding me of this.) I belong. I’m part of a large group of people who share the ups and downs of the writing life, who understand the AGONY, along with the JOY.
Or, is it just me?